Aspergers at work Why I need a sick day to register my car

Aspergers at work Why I need a sick day to register my car The guy who sold me my car cancelled the plates the very next week. Luckily, I didnt know that because there was a November expiration sticker on the plate. So the fact that I was driving the car illegally for three months did not bother me. Until now. But now Im at the DMV. I know your first inclination is to say that Im an idiot for waiting until the end of November. But I really, really cannot deal with bureaucracy. To give you a sense of how much I cant deal with it, I almost did not graduate college because I had too many library fines. I graduated only because my grandma made some calls. I have found, in adult life, that bureaucracy only gets deeper and deeper, and for someone like me, with Asperger Syndrome, the rules, numbers and conversations that bureaucracy entails is completely overwhelming: IRS, health insurance, 401Ks, I actually have no idea how people cope with this stuff. Which brings me to the DMV, to register my car, the day my sticker expires. I have to fill in my age on the form, but there are numbers all over the form and all over the room and I cant remember if Im 41 or 42. I know the math problem is 2009 1966, but it would require borrowing and carrying, I think, because the 9 is so much bigger than the 0 and thats where they will line up: the 9 under the 0. The numbers on top always feel like they are flying and I cant keep track of them and Ill never get the math problem right. At least not right now. So I guess. I tell the DMV lady I filled out my form. She looks to see if I filled in everything. She says that I left the second part blank. This is true. It looked like it was too much. Like, how could they want all that information? I just cant believe it. She says, You need your VIN, color, make, date purchased and your signature. I do? Yes. Do you have it? I forgot the car title stuff at my house. Can you look it up? You came to register your car without the vehicle identification number? Oh. Um. I thought I had it. I have to go home. This is not easy. I cant read a map, and I dont know left and right, so I cant follow verbal directions, so I have three routes I know well in Madison, and if Im trying to get anywhere, I try to get to one of my three routes. For me, its not about the fastest route, its about not having to follow a new one. But Im on the side of town I never go to, so I cant figure out how to get to one of my routes. I think I have a straight shot to my office, though. So I tell myself Ill go to my office and then Ill do my regular drive home, and get the title. But I get lost going to my office. I would usually call Ryan Paugh for something like this but hes on vacation. I review the social norms I know about vacations: usually, if someone is your friend, you can call them for help on vacation. But Ryan probably only helps me because Im sort of his boss. So I get lost going to my office, and then I go home, and then I take the same route back to the DMV, but its so long that I decide to stop at my favorite gas station. Its my favorite gas station for the coffee. Have I told you that now that I live in Wisconsin I have taken to drinking gas station coffee? I dont know whats come over me. So my favorite meal right now is French Vanilla coffee and a Peanut Butter Power Bar. I have told you before that transitions are insanely difficult for me. This is one of those times. I am eatingso nice and easyand going back to the DMV seems so terrible, and isnt going to ever work out anyway. So I get another coffee and another Power Bar. And its so nice, sitting in my car, alone, with no noise, and I think Im going to die if I have to go back to the DMV. I do not die, but I do get anxiety and start picking at my cuticles. I have Googled a million times to see if picking cuticles is associated with Aspergers because its insane that I do it. I mean, it hurts and everyone can see it, and sometimes, if its a really bad day, I get blood on a nice shirt. Which is today. Well, not really a nice shirt because I was so stressed about today that I did not change out of the shirt I slept in. But I am bleeding. The only thing I found out from Google is that people with Aspergers self-mutilate as a way to focus away from what is overwhelming. So its like cutting. Thats whats going on here. I find Googling that another form of this sort of self-mutilation is anorexia, which I wish so much I could have. Do not tell me this is not acceptable to say. Its always the fat people who say that. Because really everyone wishes they could be anorexic for a few days, just to get their weight down. Im just wishing I could be anorexic for the days that Im picking at my cuticles. The food thing is so much more socially acceptable. I bring my VIN number to the window where the lady is. She says, Hello again. Really. She says this. And I can only think of that part of the book Go Dog Go where the dogs say: Hello again. Hello. Do you like my hat? I do not. Goodbye again. Goodbye. I always liked that part because I felt like Go Dog Go doesnt just have work dogs and play dogs, and up dogs and down dogs. Go Dog Go also has Aspergers dogs. So I say, Hello. I hope we are going to do the Go Dog Go script. Im giddy with anticipation of having a real connection with the DMV lady. She says, Do you have proper identification now? I panic. I was expecting Do you like my hat? I thought she only needed the car stuff. I worry she needs a phone bill with my address on it or something. I show her my stuff. She helps me fill in the form. She talks slowly for me, and its comforting. She gives me a number and tells me to wait until its called. I look around for people looking at numbers being called. I dont see a crowd of people holding papers like mine. Also, I hear a lot of stuff being called. I mean, theres the Wisconsin ID department, and the drivers license department, and the car registration people, and you can even get a passport photo taken here. Theres a lot going on. There are a lot of numbers here. I worry that Im going to miss my number while Im trying to figure things out. So I go back to the woman and ask her how long she thinks itll be. She says, Not long at all. I say, Not long like an hour, or not long like a minute? She says, Five minutes. I go back to looking for where people are listening to numbers. I tell myself I have four minutes to figure out where the numbers are coming from. I look around and the place is full of sixteen-year-olds who are handling all the paperwork for their drivers licenses. Their parents are reading books, taking care of young siblings, not paying attention to the forms and the numbers and the lines. The sixteen-year-olds are doing it. Is this the DMV for the gifted-and-talented? Is it normal that all these teens can navigate the DMV? How do they know what to do? Where do they get their information? I cannot figure out who is supposed to call my number. I am not hearing numbers. I so so so do not want to go back to the woman at the desk. I stare at the wall trying to figure out what to do. The wall at the DMV is, actually, overwhelming. There are videos about immigration and posters about drunk driving, and there are LCD displays of numbers and letters and I have to find the only blank spot on the wall, in between the bathroom doors, to stare. I tell myself that it will be fine to ask the lady at the window for help again. I remind myself about the airport. For years I was too scared to ask for help at the airport even though I could not read my boarding pass. I missed so many flights that Ryan Healy was not even surprised anymore when I called him from an airport to tell him I was stuck. Sometimes Id be right there, sitting at the gate, watching the clock, but the clock is just more numbers, and still Id miss the flight. Or, if I did not miss my flight, it took so much concentration that I would lose all my stuff; theres too much commotion to navigate for me to also read numbers. So I started asking the person at the counter to circle the gate and the time on my boarding pass. I say, Im dyslexic and I cant read my boarding pass. The person always has a moment of surprise but usually they watch out for me. So I pretend Im at the airport and I go to the DMV lady again. I say, Can you tell me what to do with this? I cant figure out how to know where to go with my number. She says, What number? I hand her my slip. She says, These are all letters. I look. And its true. They are. But they are tricky letters for someone thinking numbers. Well, the H is not tricky, but the I and the O really threw me off. I say thank you, and then I see there is an LCD above each window in the whole place that shows the number and letter sequence that is almost like mine but not really mine. I watch. And then its my turn. I go up to the counter. The woman looks over my form. I am so nervous that Im not going to have the right information that I have to look away. I look at the customer at the window next to me. She has a folder of information. Everyone has folders for their car stuff? How can the whole world be so organized? How can the government require that you be this organized to get through life? Why is no one protesting? My new DMV lady looks up stuff in the computer. She tells me I have a ticket. This does not surprise me. I get tickets a lot and I forget to pay them. So I sort of think of all tickets, when I get them, as the amount on the slip plus the inevitable late fee. I say, Can I pay it now? She says, No. You need to pay at the police station at the Capitol. I dont know why I say this, because just getting the words out gives me so much stress that I think Im going to have diarrhea right there on the spot. But I say, Can I go pay it at the police station and then come back? No. It takes up to seven days to clear in the system. What? The system here needs to show you have no tickets before I can register your car. So I settle in for a week of surreptitious, unregistered driving while I wait for the system to clear. Luckily this is not a day I have to drive to the farm. The farmer drives to my house. And right when I am trying to get dinner on the table, he says, Do you have a stamp? My first thought is, Its so annoying that are you are talking to me when I am trying to get dinner ready because its too hard for me to do dinner and kids and stamps. Also, I think, Who is still using stamps? What do we need stamps for in 2009 besides letters to Santa? He says, I got a ticket today for parking in front of your house, and I want to pay it before I forget. Then I put down my pot, turn off the stove and walk over to give him a kiss. The important thing when you have Aspergers is not to be able to do stuff you cant do, but to surround yourself with people who can.

Elevate Your Executive Resume From Bland to BRAND - Executive Career Brandâ„¢

Elevate Your Executive Resume From Bland to BRAND

Say something nice to a co-worker - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog

Say something nice to a co-worker - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog I got this email out of the blue from a lady called Valerie: I recently started reading Happy Hour is from 9 to 5. I decided to make it a goal this week to write a personal note of sincere appreciation to each of my co-workers (and my boss). This was particularly easy for the most part as I have great co-workers ? except for one that is challenging. Nonetheless, I did this and it?s nice to see everybody, even ?crabby pants? with a smile on their face. In fact, my boss told me today that he took his note home and put it up on his refrigerator. I asked Valerie what the reactions were, and she followed up yesterday with this: Two co-workers sent emails to me, telling how much they enjoyed their notes, proceeding into things they like about me. I replied to both persons that I was not fishing for compliments, but thanked them for their kind responses. One of the emails came from ?crabby pants.? As I presented each person with their note, I said, ?I made myself a promise this week to give a note to each of my co-workers to express something I appreciate about each of you.? I then just left the note and walked away. In the end, I think the person most touched by my note was a 50 something co-worker preparing for her youngest of four boys to leave the nest. It became evident to me several months ago that she had the onset of empty nest syndrome. She seems to be inadvertently hovering over everybody, spoon feeding information like we can?t possibly do our jobs on our own. My note to her was a simple expression of how I appreciate her calm demeanor and how much her presence is the glue that holds our group together when things are getting a little insane. The greatest reward in giving the notes wasn?t receiving compliments in return. It was the noticeable difference of facial expressions as I passed by those same people later. I am making Happy Hour is 9 to 5 required reading for my husband and plan to anonymously get a copy of it put on our COOs desk. Thanks Valerie you rock for doing this. I love this kind of thing and it just goes to show that small gestures can really make a difference. Could you try this in your workplace? Have you already done something similar? Write a comment Id love to know what you think. Thanks for visiting my blog. If you're new here, you should check out this list of my 10 most popular articles. And if you want more great tips and ideas you should check out our newsletter about happiness at work. It's great and it's free :-)Share this:LinkedInFacebookTwitterRedditPinterest Related

Dream, Inspire, Create Seven Souls, One Musing

Dream, Inspire, Create Seven Souls, One Musing While I was running around like a chicken without a head last Saturday, gettin ready for SXSW (Ill give ya a rundown soon promise!), the lovely Louise Gale was sweet enough to post an interview with me!  Click here to find out how I came up with my name, the advice Id give any new or aspiring coaches, and how Ive overcome my biggest coaching challenge. Fun! I was also included in the very first volume of Seven Souls, One Musing interview series on Kind Over Matter, along with super cool chicas like Alexandra Franzen, Jamie Ridler and Rachelle Mee-Chapman. Head on over to hear about the spontaneous thing I ever done even though I planned it 3 months in advance!

How to Make a Resume Stand Out From the Rest

How to Make a Resume Stand Out From the RestDo you have the formal writing skills to make a resume stand out from the rest? Does it matter if you do not have the formal writing skills? There are many reasons why having the formal writing skills would be helpful and could even increase your chances of getting a job.First of all, having the formal writing skills will help you in writing a more professional looking resume. The only way to make sure that your resume stands out from the rest is to make sure that your resume is well-organized and formatted. And that starts with having the best resume writer you can afford. Your resume writing skills might not be good enough to get you a job if you do not have the professional writing skills to make it look professional. Besides, your resume will actually be seen by the hiring manager will want to see what your resume has to say about you and your abilities.Having the formal writing skills would also give you the confidence to express yours elf well in your resume. If you have done well in school or even during college or high school, your resume could also include you speaking about your academic achievements and accomplishments. Of course, you cannot just make a list of accomplishments. You have to put in your efforts to make sure that your resume will stand out from the rest.Aside from putting in your efforts in making your resume stand out from the rest, there are other things that you can do to make your resume stand out from the rest. Having the formal writing skills will also help you in putting up your resume well in front of the hiring manager. Instead of having a long or short resume, you will only have one that will fit the person. And the more professional looking it is, the better.When it comes to making your resume look professional, there are a few things that you can do to get a good look. For example, you can use graphics in your resume instead of using regular text. Graphics are easy to use and easy t o read. Also, you can even combine graphics and regular text to make your resume look more professional.You will also find that having the formal writing skills will mean that you have the ability to explain yourself in a very professional manner. You will know exactly what you have to say and how you should talk about it in your resume. And you will be able to make your resume stand out from the rest. Having the formal writing skills is also something that you can use when trying to convince the hiring manager of your abilities.So if you are going to make a resume, make sure that you make the most of your formal writing skills. It will definitely help you make your resume look professional looking.

How to Take a Vacation When You Are the Boss

How to Take a Vacation When You Are the Boss Entrepreneurs can take a vacation whenever they want, right? After all, they are the boss. But reality is often far different. Sebastien Dupéré, President CEO of Dupray Inc. says he hasn’t taken a vacation in a decade. “My business is my baby and I simply cannot stand to be away from it from more than a few days at a time. It’s exceedingly difficult to unplug,” he says. On average, American workers reported using just 16 days of paid time off in 2014, the lowest level in nearly 40 years, according to Project Time Off, a coalition dedicated to encouraging Americans to take vacations. Those who are self-employed may be even worse at getting away. In 2014, OnDeck found that just 57% of small business owners surveyed said they planned to take a vacation that year, and just over a quarter of those (26%) were only going to take a few days. For many entrepreneurs, the “time is money” mantra figures into their mental calculations of how much a vacation will really cost them. “I lose money when I’m not working,” says Donna Lubrano, a consultant and adjunct faculty at Northeastern University. “I’m a solopreneur; there is no staff to keep things going while I’m away. (If) I don’t work, no money is generated and no new business is generated, either.” She compensates by taking a day or two here or there when she can. Jennifer Bright Reich, co-author of “The Mommy MD Guide to Losing Weight and Feeling Great,” has been self-employed for over a decade and says she’s always taken family vacations (often to Disney World) with her sons, now 9 and 10 years old. But she brings her laptop and tries to get at least some work done. It hasn’t been easy. “I tried to minimize work, but it was always stressful,” she says. “So often it felt a project would implode while we were on vacation, and I felt torn between my work and my family.” Getting away from your normal routine can be essential to enhancing creativity and problem-solving. In addition, Project Time Off has compiled research that demonstrates numerous benefits associated with taking time off. Among them: less risk of cardiovascular disease and heart attacks, and decreased risk of depression and stress. Yet turning that knowledge into action can be tough. Bob Sullivan is an independent journalist and author of the book, “Getting Unstuck: Breaking Free From The Plateau Effect.” He’s written about the importance of taking vacations, but admits he has struggled with it himself. Last summer, for example, he says he worked “ahead” for a month so he “could get an honest 2-3 week break and leave town. Then, on my road trip, an amazing opportunity came about that would basically pay for my vacation with only a day or two of work. How could I say no to that?” Like many who are self-employed, it’s hard to resist the siren’s call of work and the income it can produce. “I know, it’s a first-world problem,” he says. “But it’s very, very hard to say no to money when there’s no guarantee of money coming in the future.” How to Get Away Perhaps a two-week trip to the Caribbean or Europe isn’t feasible given your commitments to your business. That doesn’t mean you have to forgo a vacation all together. Here are a few option to consider: Try Workcations. If all else fails, try Dupéré’s approach. He calls it a “workcation” and describes it as “working remotely at a place significantly nicer than the office.” For example, members of his team were recently on a workcation in China. After a three-day trade show in China, he and members of his team stayed an extra week to work from China. “A workcation is the type of thing where we can get as much of a vacation vibe that we can get without disconnecting from our business,” he says. A bonus: Travel expenses for a workcation may be tax deductible; check with your tax advisor. Cash in Your Rewards. If you’re putting everything into your business, you may not have the funds to foot the bill for a getaway. If you have a business credit card with rewards, however, you may be able to use the points or cash you’ve earned to pay for airfare, lodging or other expenses, making your vacation free, or at least very cheap. Reich is a Disney Visa cardholder, for example, which she says earns her “about $1,000 a year” worth of points that helps defray the costs of her visits to the Magic Kingdom. Relax. Even if you only take a short break, try to disconnect completely. “When was the last time you really allowed yourself to rest?” writes Nav CEO Levi King in an essay, Work, Rest, Play. “I don’t mean slump in bed staring dull-eyed at your Facebook feedâ€"I mean rest, in the full-on sense of a cat curled up in a sunlit window.” Any new parent can tell you that one good night of sleep can feel miraculous, and make you a better parent. The same thing is true of your relationship to your “other” babyâ€"your business. With ample rest, you’ll both be healthier. Case in point: When Reich’s mother passed away unexpectedly a few months ago, she took a solo trek to Disney. She brought work along, but kept it to a minimum. “I totally let myself off the hook!” she says. “I kept up with email. I did read some. But otherwise I maximized the vacation for what it really was for: relaxing, rejuvenating, reflecting and remembering my mom. And I came back a better, more focused person, better able to work and cope.” Gerri Detweiler is head of market education for Nav, which provides small business owners with free business and personal credit scores, and helps them create financially healthy companies. She is the coauthor of “Finance Your Own Business:Get on the Financing Fast Track” with attorney Garrett Sutton.

10 Differences Between The Job Search Of Today And Of Yesterday - Work It Daily

10 Differences Between The Job Search Of Today And Of Yesterday - Work It Daily Job search has changed drastically over the last few years. If you want to succeed in today’s job search, you'll have to take a much different approach than your parents did. Here are a few things that have changed: 1. Google Has Replaced The Resume Recruiters are now using Google and LinkedIn searches to find talent, instead of paying for job board or talent databases, like they used to do. In fact, many companies are even mandating every new application go through a Google screening process. So, that means the first page of your Google results matter more than they ever did before during a job search. 2. A Summary Is Enough Today, the resume is used mostly in the screening process while actual decisions are made after interviews. And, because there are so many candidates competing for each job, HR people (or hiring managers if they are tasked with recruitment) often scan resumes very briefly. In fact, the average time on a resume is 30 seconds. 3. Social Proof Is A Must Social proof, testimonials, or recommendations seriously reduce the perceived risk of you as a candidate. The most costly mistake a hiring manager can make is to hire the wrong person. Some say that if a new-hire leaves within three months, it costs the organization one and half that person’s annual salary. And with the economy as tight as it is, you can understand why hiring managers are so risk averse. 4. Resumes And Cover Letters Are Not Read On Paper Anymore Most organizations are not receiving paper resumes and when they get them via e-mail or their application system, they don’t print them. So, expect your resume and cover letter to be read on a computer screen. This means you have to format your documents in a way that makes screen-scanning easy. 5. Relationships First, Resume’s Second Resumes are not used as introductory documents much these days. In fact, “send me your resume” is often an after thought after an introduction is made. And if an introduction is made online, then your online profile offers much more information than a resume. So, shift your priorities from, “Oh crap, I have to get my resume done!” to, “Oh crap, where can I meet some more people today?” 6. Employers Only Care About What They Want In years past, a resume or job application was focused on what the job seeker wanted. This is not true any more. Now, an application, resume, or cover letter must speak to what value the seeker can bring to the organization. How can you bring value to the company and how soon can the company realize that value. 7. Don’t Mind The Gap Large gaps in your resume are not as important as they used to be. Not only do employers today realize than millions of great and wonderful people got laid off, they also appreciate it when candidates showed initiative and tried to start their own thing. 8. Nouns Are The New Currency Screening software and LinkedIn talent searches have introduced an unexpected element to the way a resume should be written. Because these tools rely on nouns or keywords to deliver search results to recruiters, the resumes with the right combination of nouns often win. If you want to succeed in today’s job search, make a commitment to learn how to research keywords and how to use them appropriately on the page. 9. Everyone Has A Personal Brand - Yes, Everyone 10 years ago, not many people even knew what a personal brand was, let alone was having one really that accessible. These days, even if you don’t know what it is, you still have one. And because recruiters and hiring managers are just looking for red flags, inconsistencies in your image or messaging will prevent you from passing screening. Even if you never touched a computer in your life, you have a personal brand as well as an online reputation. So, you have to decide, will you be in control of your image or will someone else? 10. Typing Isn’t A Skill Anymore Being able to type used to be a skill people would highlight on their resume. Now, you have to know how to type just to have a resume. What really matters is well you’ve prepared yourself for the application. You have access to more information about a company than generations past. As a result, expectations for preparedness are much higher. To really shine, focus on customizing each resume and cover letter. It’s better to send off a few very targeted applications then it is to spray and pray. Special thanks to the following people for their valuable insights for this post: - Sean Harry, career coach and author of Careers 2.0 - Vicky Lind, career counselor and marketing coach - J.T. O’Donnell, founder of CAREEREALISM and career coach Photo Credit: Shutterstock Have you joined our career growth club?Join Us Today!